Embracing the Ordinary: A New Place to Belong

I read a lot of motivational and self-help books. All the books that show the path to success. And don’t get me wrong — I admire and look up to these people. From those who made it out of prison and built million-dollar businesses, to those who became the wives of presidents, to those who claim to have complete financial freedom. It’s motivating and powerful stuff.

At the same time, I find it incredibly pretentious.

I’m reading a book right now — I won’t name names — but he’s talking about how he had his big breakthrough moment in the mountains of Ecuador while living with a tribe of people and taking ayahuasca. (Did I spell that right?)

It’s so far removed from the day-to-day reality that I live in.

It makes me question myself. Like — am I not good enough to be wealthy and free because I’ve never been out of the country? Am I not successful?

I’ve struggled my entire life just to get what most people consider normal.
I can’t afford to leisurely take drugs and seek the meaning of life.
I have a job.
I have bills to pay.

Sure, I could jump in and take a big risk in pursuit of my dreams and just say fuck it, like these people who started sleeping on couches. It’s like they’re telling you that you’re a nobody if you haven’t mingled with celebrities and traveled the globe.

I’m sitting here like — I could give a fuck about celebrities.
Would I love to travel? Sure.
But I’ve had to prioritize keeping a roof over my head.

Four years ago, I was homeless.
It’s not glamorous.
I can honestly say, I didn’t enjoy it.

Did I take the wrong path going to college and getting a degree?
I don’t think so.

I don’t think you have to be a millionaire to know success.
I don’t think you have to travel the globe to know success.

Real people achieve success every day and go unrecognized.
And I don’t need or want to be recognized.
I just want to know who else is out there — struggling to be normal like me.
Struggling to overcome a shitty childhood with shitty parents and a lot of trauma and abuse.

Because just being able to break free of that — in my mind — is a huge success.

I’m starting this blog because I want to share my story and the struggles I’ve overcome, in hopes of reaching others who have gone through similar circumstances.

I need to know that I’m not alone.

I’ve never fit in.
I’ve never felt like I belonged anywhere.
So I’m creating my own place to belong.

There have to be people like me — who just want to make the world a better place and don’t give a fuck about fortunes and fame and fancy travels. Struggling with student debt while working a typical corporate job and just trying to make ends meet — and still wanting to make a difference in the community.

That’s me.

Who are you?